Antlers

Ok so I had a bit of an epiphany in the gym today… now I know I’m probably not the first one to think this, but the more I contemplate it, the more true it’s looking; today’s man is like a stag.

“Explain yourself!” I hear you cry, and very right you are to make such a request! You see, today’s man is like a stag, because, like the stag, we no longer need to be physically fit, and the gym is a shrine to all that is wrong with what has occurred in the past 300 years (give or take a few). You see, at the dawn of the industrial revolution the need for the warrior, and then even the manual labourer, has declined to the state it is in today, where we are almost without need for these proffessions to be carried out by real human beings. Now I was watching WALL-E the other day, and in it humans are depicted as utterly lost in thier own little media worlds, everyone is horrifically obese and no one does any excercise.

However, I don’t think that’s the way humanity is going. I mean, look at the gym, it’s somewhere to ‘tone up’ and ‘burn off excess fat’. Men, and women, to a certain extent, (although I’d argue it was far less true of them), go to the gym to essentially preen themselves for the opposite sex. Physical fitness is no longer a requirement for success as a man; it’s a way to get the most attractive female that you could possibly get. So, like the stag, we no longer need our strength in the way he no longer needs his antlers; they’ve become something grotesquely overelaborate, and in some cases a hinderance. However when the girls come calling, the deer with the biggest pieces of bone sticked out of his head get’s the best.

And so we’re the same, although it’s not quite as excessive as that, I’m just using the easiest metaphor for the maximum effect. Just chew on it, think about how many guys you know who just go to the gym to ‘look good’. It brings to mind a scene in the film ‘Fight Club’, where Tyler Durden and the Narrator get onto a bus, and see an advertisment for Calvin Klein boxer shorts. Tyler points it out and says ‘What is that? Who wants to be that.’ Of course, when you spend your nights beating the living snot out of each other for fun, I guess you earn the right to mock society.

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About Phill Cameron

I've graduated, had a look at the world, and spat. Now I'm devoting my time to moving from 3/4 of a games journalist to 9/10ths. I figure I can get away with 9/10ths.
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