Keeping Cool

IT BURNS

I’ve got the flu at the moment. I say got, but I’m pretty much over it now, only left with the residual coughing fits and extreme bouts of sneezing that leave me flecked with spittle and sniffing like a coke fiend. So anyway, I figured this morning, during my shower, I’d break out the awesome power of Essential Oils Mint and Tea Tree shower gel, as it would clear my nose.

The thing about this particular shower gel, and the reason I only use it sparingly, is that it’s possibly one of the most powerful substances known to man. It doesn’t clean your body. It doesn’t even come close. What it does do is burn a layer of skin off you so that you’re left cleaner than clean. This motherfucker burns.

The arms/chest/arse aren’t such an issue. Mainly because I’ve got enough skin there that it just shrugs it off and I’m left just feeling a little chilly and clean. But this stuff really goes to town on your nadgers. I’m not going to go into too much details because this isn’t really a erotic literature blog, but you have to be extremely careful how long you leave this stuff on for. Any more than 20 seconds and you’re going to have blue balls for the rest of the day.

I’m really not sure why I keep a bottle of it around. It’s a horrible waste according to the back of the bottle, as it uses oils from almost 1,500 different tea tree leaves for just the one bottle. Unless there are huge tea tree farms out in Venezuela somewhere, there has to be an issue with that many trees being cut down. I mean, take their lime showergel for instance; it uses almost 100 limes per bottle. The whole house smells like Starbust after I’ve used it.

So there I was, this morning, sniffing and shivering and clean. All because of Essential Oils Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel.

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About Phill Cameron

I've graduated, had a look at the world, and spat. Now I'm devoting my time to moving from 3/4 of a games journalist to 9/10ths. I figure I can get away with 9/10ths.
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