So far, today’s been a bit of a mixed bag for me. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, but at the moment the glass is looking like it’s containing 50% water. I’ll start at the beginning, which will be a bit of an achievement, because I’m feeling a little confused, deflated and annoyed right now. As you all know, I’m at University, and that means essays need to be written, preferably a week or two before the deadline, but, inevitably, they always end up being written the day, or at the very best, two days before the day they are handed in. This Thursday (Deadline Day), was no exception.
The essays themselves were not a huge problem; I managed to waffle and faff my way to the word count, using half formed ideas and malnourished concepts to give it some form of structure. That wasn’t the hard part. What was hard was making the 9am seminar with even half of my brain cells firing in the right direction. You see I had to present one of the essays to the seminar group, which means it couldn’t be total wank. Which, when you know little to nothing about the subject matter, and have a day to research it and a day to write it, is a very high possibility.
I don’t think it was total wank, conversely. It was a bit shit, but overall the points were there and they were backed up with reasonable qoutations. The problem was I stayed up all night to ensure I wouldn’t miss the seminar, and by the time 8am rolled past, the heavens had opened, the winds had picked up and the bus stop seemed a little too far away. The journey was uneventful, if only because there was only one event occuring. The rain was horizontal, sped on by the wind into tiny little droplets of pain, and it was my good fortune to live downwind of the bus stop. Couple this with a desperate need to sleep, a overacting gas problem (which I think ties into the lack of sleep), and a seeping dread at having to speak to a bunch of academics in training about a subject I wasn’t too clear on, it wasn’t the best of journeys.
Of course, as always happens, by the time I got to the seminar, no one else had bothered to show up. Perhaps it was the weather, or perhaps it was just the fact this was the last proper seminar of the semester, but it would seem today just wasn’t the day for my presentation. It’s been moved back to next week, just so you know.
So I braved the weather to come home, fruitless, and I settled down to watch the last ever episode of The Wire. I’ve been dreading this moment for pretty much a year and a half, since I started the first series, and I’m not really sure how to feel right now. I’ve never seen anything even half as good as the show, except perhaps Generation Kill, but that hardly counts as it’s done by the same people. It both saddens and upsets me that there is nothing on television or on the cinema that can even approach the level of reality and drama of The Wire, and now that it’s all over I’m feeling rather deflated and bereft. It’s what would happen if you took the feeling of reading an amazing novel (NOT Harry Potter. More Watchmen or His Dark Materials), and then multiplied it by a digit and a few zeros to factor in for the attachment you have to the real (at least in your mind) characters. It’s rather remarkable, and I don’t really know how else to describe it.
So that’s my day so far. I doubt it’ll improve or diminish. It feels rather static now.