To Reign In Hell – Part 4

This is the fourth part in my version of events in a recent Solium Infernum game. To shameless nick the format from the RPS version, here are all the different perspectives so far.

RPS: Turns 1-10, 11-20, 21-30, 31-40
Hentzau: Turns 1-10, 11-20, 21-30
Mine: Turns 1-10, 11-20, 21-30

With that addressed, I need to make a few corrections. I didn’t make nearly enough notes when playing the actual game through, focusing far too much on making sure I wasn’t getting stabbed in the back all over the place, so I’m doing most of this off the turns themselves, which is inefficient at best. But what that also means is that I don’t see stuff like when Zah’hak actually stole Scrofula’s praetor, which was at about turn 25. So that cliff hanger I left off the last diary with was entirely false. Sorry chaps!

That out of the way, here’s turns 31-40.

Turn 31

So instead of going after Scrofula in a Contest of Champions, I’m going to take his land. It’s an easy way to get some prestige, and it should end up with my right at the doorstep of the Temple of Lust, which is his last proper place of power. I get that, and it’s pretty much all over for him. He’ll be struggling for prestige, and I’ll be only a little way from his actual stronghold, and with my units getting more powerful by the turn, that’s not a place he wants to be in.

I do have a few problems though. To have any sort of realistic hope of completing the vendetta, I need to take six of his cantons in four turns. While that isn’t too bad, it does mean I’m going to have to use at least two units. Except I’ve only got one, the Blood of Amperelix Beastias, on his border. So I’m going to have to get someone down there pretty fast. Which will probably mean flying.

Which is lucky, because I’ve got a unit that can do that.

In an ideal world these guys would be incredibly useful for such landgrabbing missions, but the problem with the way vendettas work in Solium Infernum is that you have to remain on a single canton for an entire turn before you take it, and you can only take cantons that are adjacent to your own land. So two units can only take two cantons per turn. I know, it’s all very frustrating.

Turn 32

Of course, this is all going to be a lot easier now that I’ve got four order slots. I’ve finally got Wickedness up to level four, which means beefier rituals, and a new order slot. Now I can carry on with my nefarious deeds while still using two order slots to take cantons from Scrofula. And if I can’t find anything nefarious to do, I can always just order my minions to scurry off and find me tribute. Delicious, precious tribute. I now have so much I’m not sure what to do with it all. Oh I know, Wickedness Level Five! BRING ME HELLFIRE SERFS!

Turn 35

After four turns of frantic land grabbing, I’ve finally got enough cantons to satisfy the vendetta. My kingdom now looks like this:

With me a turn away from taking the Temple of Lust (the vagina doored building at the bottom of the map), Scrofula is going to be veeery careful about how he treats me. He knows I’ve got a powerful praetor, and so he won’t be insulting me any time soon. And because of our history of butting heads, I can now demand a little more than I can to anyone else, which means demands are that much more fun. Yummy, nutritious tribute should be coming to me from his vaults any time soon.

Turn 36

While I didn’t actually do much this turn, there’s a very good reason for that.

Delicious evil. This means all four order slots need to be dedicated to filling my vaults. I don’t actually need much more tribute, but when an oppurtunity like this comes along, it’s hard not to gorge yourself. You never know when you’re going to need to burn that fat to save yourself! I mean, my main sin is greed, after all. I don’t even know if I’ve got the fifty tribute cards I need to satisfy my public objective. All I know is that I lost count of them a long, long time ago.

Turn 37

My demand of Scrofula comes back this turn, and like I thought, he’s conceding, which is giving me tribute to fuel my thirteenth roll of bellyfat. I’m starting to think I picked the wrong avatar. I think the huge slug-like fat guy would’ve been better. More obvious, but better.

I’ve also got to play the event card Master of the Bazaar, which means I get half of the tribute from the bazaar when anyone buys anything. Also, perhaps more importantly, I get to see who is buying everything. For instance, Kieron just picked up the Orb of Oblivion, which can turn a unit into a suicide bomber. Which makes me a little worried, as I now share a border with Kieron. I hope I’m not the target.

Also, rather craftily, I bought a Praetor in the turn I cast the event, which means I get half my tribute back. Oh man I’m going to be so rich. Sorry, so much more rich. Wickedness level six shall be my goal. Or maybe everything level six. Muhahaha.

Turn 38

Seems like Quinns might be the main focus of Kieron’s forces, and hopefully that pesky orb at the same time. Hoping this is the case, I’m going after his Wheel of Pain, because I really, really need the prestige.

Also, Quinns just picked up the Tongue of the Liar, which boosts Deceit, which makes me fear for my vaults. I’ve got so much tribute now that I wouldn’t really notice if any went missing, which is a problem. I need an accountant, or, more usefully, high prophecy to fend of people stealing my stuff. I think I’ve got enough tribute to level that up pretty quickly. Probably.

Turn 40

Hmm.. last turn Speedo picked up an anti-deceit relic, which makes me think that he and Quinns are butting heads. Except that’s how I see it, because I know that Quinns picked up the deceit relic. Maybe Speedo’s just being careful. A man could go crazy.

In other news, I made a demand of Speedo that just came back. Because of my pitifully low infernal ranking of Marquis, and his high one of Prince, I could only demand one tribute card. Now, I don’t care how poor you are, everyone has a tribute card that only has a value of one, which means that I don’t think I’m ever going to get Speedo refusing a demand of mine. Which is shit, really, because I could wipe the floor with him militarily. Perhaps I should talk to Quinns about synchronising our demands. That way he’s more like to refuse one of us, and that should knock him down a peg or two. Maybe.

About Phill Cameron

I've graduated, had a look at the world, and spat. Now I'm devoting my time to moving from 3/4 of a games journalist to 9/10ths. I figure I can get away with 9/10ths.
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13 Responses to To Reign In Hell – Part 4

  1. Heliosicle says:

    Very greedy, seems like Scrof could’ve done with some of those tribute cards from his report.

  2. Pingback: Turns 31 – 40 « Hentzau's Private Hell

  3. DarkNoghri says:

    Wasn’t that praetor stolen back at turn 25, not 35?

    I had actually read this and noticed the mistake, so thanks for clearing it up.

  4. Pingback: Gameboys From Hell: Solium Infernum Part 5 | Rock, Paper, Shotgun

  5. Andy says:

    I feel like a minor denizen of hell picking up my morning paper with these reports.
    I also however, feel like a spy (obviously a bit redundant given that you’ve finished the game but that’s still how it feels!) as I’m reading everyone’s assumptions about the other players and they’re sometimes well wide of the mark.
    At this point I’m imagining Sponge in a pretty strong position and yet…. pride comes before a fall….

  6. Pingback: To Reign in Hell – Part 5 « The Poisoned Sponge

  7. Pingback: To Reign in Hell – Part 6 « The Poisoned Sponge

  8. Pingback: Gameboys From Hell: Solium Infernum Part 7 | Rock, Paper, Shotgun

  9. Pingback: To Reign In Hell – Part 7 « The Poisoned Sponge

  10. Pingback: To Reign In Hell – The Final « The Poisoned Sponge

  11. Pingback: Contents « Hentzau's Private Hell

  12. Pingback: Solium Infernum: The Complete Battle for Hell | Rock, Paper, Shotgun

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