Yeah, it’s coming to a close now, which is almost a blessing, because by this point in the game, things were a bit of a mixed bag. I’d all but secured a reasonable finishing position, but I’d sold my soul, and more importantly, my dignity, to do it. Oh well. Here’s all the Diaries so far:
These are the turns where I get increasingly angry at my own impotence. And in the game.
I feel like I have to explain my thinking regarding the whole Blood Vassal thing, as it seems there’s been a bit of Character Assassination over on the RPS side of things. Basically, I didn’t think games of Solium Infernum went on as long as our’s did. I thought they finished up around turn 50, and that meant that, sitting in dead last like I was, I’d have to do something pretty drastic to get out of it. And since I wasn’t really in the position to take on the might of Pandemonium, that meant bitching up. Yeah, it’s probably not as cool or awesome, but I’d started dead last, and I didn’t want to end that way. Better to be a bitch to the King of Hell than to be everyone’s bitch, really.
But it’s not quite as simple as that. When I contacted Quinns, I was pretty sure I was at the very least cutting it fine by contacting him so late in the game. I thought things would all be over by turn 55, as I didn’t really understand the whole Enclave Tokens thing. So when we started orchestrating things for him to take my land, I was a little crestfallen. I was very close to just calling it off as I didn’t want to end the game by losing a vendetta that I’d done nothing to stop.
It’s also the reason I cast Infernal Gossiping, the last event card I’d play in the game. It means that no one can see anyone else’s prestige, and as I had made a note of where everyone was, I figured it was the right time to cast it, as it would mean no one would be sure of a victory.
And it’s also the reason I refuse a demand from Scrofula, as I reckon he hasn’t got the time to complete it.
Basically, I screwed up. Again.
I’ve not done much for the past three turns but sit by as my land gets slowly taken away. I feel like we’re over the excitement of the honeymoon and now Quinns is telling me all the things I can’t keep. So I make it official, and send the petition to be Blood Vassal. At this point, Quinns could laugh and tell me to naff off, leaving me pissing in the wind, and I’d be double fucked. Losing a big chunk of my moving space and getting laughed at? That’d really take the biscuit. I’d almost expected him to move into my land and start taking out my legions and my Places of Power, reckoning he’d be more powerful on his own, but luckily he’s not, leaving me slightly hopeful.
It’s also right now that I get punished for one of my Solium Infernum gaffs. I’d left a praetor with a unit, and it just got nicked. This is double annoying because of the Praetor’s stats: she not only raised the level of my unit by two, meaning they were more resistant to rituals, it also meant they got another attachment slot, which the Rod of Auspex went into. And she boosted their infernal stats. Before she got nicked they were the most powerful legion on the board. Sucks to be me.
Now I’ve got Quinns between me and Scrofula, I start to get cocky; I reckon that while I can move through Quinns’ land, Scrofula can’t, which means that he can’t attack back at me, which’d be grand. And it’s my last attempt to do that exact thing, because once I’m Blood Vassal I give up any rights to Diplomacy, and can’t demand or insult anyone, and likewise can’t receive and demands or insults.
So this is my last gasp against my nemesis. It’s now or never, and I’m going to take now, because it’d make me feel like a man again after I recently got my balls chopped off. I hear Quinns keeps them in his nightstand.
Ok, what the fuck.
I mean seriously, as if things could get much worse for me personally. It’s not like this is the worst turn in the game for me, but it’s bloody close. Let me run things down for you.
Firstly, some lone, tough-as-nails Paladin has come to bloody hell, stormed Zah’hak’s stronghold, killing a shitload of his personal guards and then stolen one of his artefacts. It probably won’t affect him much, but it’s pretty embarrassing. This is a good thing.
Secondly, my Darkwing legion, the most mobile in the game, what with them being able to fly and all, gets wiped off the map for no reason, with no explanation. They probably flew into an infernal plane engine. This is really annoying, and a very bad thing.
Thirdly, and this is probably the most frustrating occurances of the game, Zah’hak builds an infernal machine with a manuscript that lowers everyone’s wickedness by two. This is fucking annoying, as it’s my main stat now, and I lose an order slot because of it. Luckily I’ve got the tribute to build it back up, but level five cost me a hell of a lot. This is a bloody bad thing.
Fourthly, one of my rituals against Kieron’s forces takes off a good chunk of their HP, which, while not bad, was a bit of an order-slot-filler, because he’s in a vendetta with Quinns and I feel like I should help Quinns out now, what with being his bitch and all.
And lastly, and this is one of those things that really crawls under your skin and just starts scraping against the underside of it, in a way that’s increasingly uncomfortable and more than that maddening, is that, for reasons unclear, I can’t attack Scrofula.
I’m in a vendetta with him, I’m after his place of power, but I can’t move into his squares. I can’t cast rituals against him, I can do nothing against him. This makes no sense, and I can only put it down to a bug related to the fact that I became Blood Vassal the same turn I called the vendetta, and that didn’t make sense to the game. It doesn’t fucking make sense to me, and beyond the obvious prestige loss I’m going to suffer, this is doubly frustrating because I can end him right now. I can deal him a blow he can’t recover from, and some glitch is stopping me? Fuck that.
I think this is the point where I grew despondent with the game. It was just becoming too much, the insults and annoyances compounded into this moment where I have something to do, and I can’t do it. I could be making myself useful here, but instead I’m just going to haemorrhage some more prestige, and look like a dick while I do. Great.
I do the only thing I can against Scrofula, which is a stupid useless Prophecy ritual, which fails. Yay.
I wish this would end.
Why’s it gone on so long? I mean we’re at turn bloody 60, and things don’t seem to be letting up. I don’t see what I can do now, except coordinate with Quinns on whatever he’s doing. I guess I’ll just go and flay my minions into grabbing more tribute. I’ll make a huge tower of Tribute cards, and then burn it. That’d be fun.