Update Required

Hey man, how are you? Yeah, I know, it’s been a while, but I’ve been busy. Oh, it’s nothing really, just started getting published in a few magazines, starting to earn a wage. The usual stuff. You know, right?

Let me get a little more in depth on this, as I’m on a train, and really, I’ve got nothing better to do. Since the beginning of May, once I handed in the last bit of work for Uni (results are in: I got a 2:1, thank you, thank you.) I started to properly look for some work. I started this writing stuff semi-seriously over a year and a half ago now, and I think I’ve been doing pretty ok. I just haven’t, y’know, started doing it properly until the past month or so.

So we’re at the beginning of July, and I’ve got stuff published now. Say what you will about the wonders of the internet, but there’s nothing quite like being able to run your fingers over some ink that spells out your name. Sure, I might sound like some sort of literary fetishist right now, but if that’s wrong then I have no concept of right. My ego doesn’t want to know you, because I’m just find fondling my print self, thankyouverymuch.

That’s in the most recent issue of PCZone, and I’ve got two pages (COUNT EM) on the ever lovely Shattered Horizon, Futuremark’s Be An Astronaut and Shoot People sim. I basically give PCZone’s Lovely Readers a reason to go back and play the game again. Over two pages. COUNT EM.

And then, in the August issue of PC Gamer (the one the comes out in August, not the one with August on the spine.) I’ve got three (COUNT EM) reviews coming out, one of the first Modern Warfare 2 mappack, one of Dragon Age’s Darkspawn Chronicles and one of Magic: The Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers, and if that’s the last time I type that Maximum Subtitle Title again I’ll be a happy chappy.

Writing for print is different. And that’s the put it mildly. Word counts suddenly become these holy things that supercede anything else to do with the piece. If you’re not, at the very least, within a word, two at the most, of the word count, the magazine has a legal right to send around Mr Wolf and have you scrubbed. Also, you know this huge ego that writers have? You have to reign it in as Editors crack their knuckles and start delivering body blows to whatever you just spewed onto the page. You’re not going to get it right first time, because you’re not That Good. You’re going to rewrite, and then rerewrite, and then delete the whole thing and write it again.
So yeah, that’s fun.

I’ve also done a mammoth review of APB for Bit-Tech.net, soon (hopefully) to turn up in CustomPC magazine. It was a bit of an interesting one, because APB has gone ad-crazy in the last month or so, trying to snare in subscribers (It’s not a subscription! – Angry Jave Dones) with a frankly aggressive amount of flash adverts and ‘beta’ events. Of course, this means that my vicious, disappointed review that slowly dissects the game over three thousand words is somewhat at odds with the amount of positive adverts all over the Bit-Tech website. To his credit, the editor only did a little bit of swear-removing, and managed to keep the vitriol of the piece intact. The comments make for some interesting reading, too.

So far, not too bad for a couple of months work. I’m still jobless, of course, but that’s just because there aren’t any jobs, at least that I’ve known about. I’m planning on situating myself like an Australian Hunting Spider, laying my nest with various pieces of freelance work, arraying them around myself to pass myself off as the much less threatening Australian Nesting Spider, so some nervous jobling might pass by thinking of me as little threat, only to get gobbled up due to my superior size and amateur acting skills. That’s the plan, anyway.

And, of course, I’m at Develop this week. It’s a conference! I’ve got a notepad, a dictophone, and (apparently) a few hundred business cards waiting for me. I’m planning on wielding them like a networking ninja, flinging them into the pockets of anyone and everything that doesn’t even think they want to know me. Yet. After this week I want my name to be on everyone’s lips, along with talk of my superior design skills, deadly word efficiency and admirable businesscard throwing accuracy.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll get some actual work done in between all the shoulder rubbing and alcohol having. Stranger things have happened.

Although, sharing a room with Lewis could be the end of me. I’ve heard odd things.